DADDY -O-DADDY !
It is heartening to see that a day has been earmarked for dads as well,as Fathers day,as there is a Mothers Day !
The role of a father in a child’s life has gone a revolutionary change in the last two decades or so,and has almost broken the water tight compartmentalization,that existed between the roles of mom and dad !
But be it his previous role,or the new avtaar,one person and relation,that has been the biggest victim of the gender bias,has been the Father !And this has come down since eternity,in mythology,literature,stories and poetry.Even Bollywood has not been left behind in this discrimination,as while there are innumerable movies and songs on Ma ki mamta,there are hardly any on Pita ka pyaar !
Without undermining the importance and significance of the role of a mom in the life of a child,I would only like to say that a fathers contribution,is no less ,if not more
Fathers not only take paternity leave to take care of the infant,but they attend prenatal clinics and training,change and wash diapers,take night cry-calls alternating with the mom,boilbottles and prepare feeds,bathe the child,iron uniform,fix tiffins,attend PTAs and other school activities,help with school projects and much more.Besides being a great friend, philosopher and guide,he can be a sports instructer for the son,and a hero for the daughter
While the mom takes care of the home,dad provides the house.
While she teaches us our manners,,he takes care of education
While she inculcates moral values within us,he develops a social status and standing for us in the family and the world
While the mom builds our character,the dad contributes significantly in creating our personality
While she provides the gentle care to our lives,he is the strong anchor that prevents us from driftng astray
The mother may be able to play the role of father too,in adversity,but if needed Dad can swap roles too,and shoulder the dual responsibility of mom and dad,beautifully.
Even the emotions of the father have been generally and usually,presented half heartedly.Mom may be soft,caring and gentle.but dad is equally concerned,loving and emotional.
The father may appear unconcerned,detached and disinterested and may not give adequate time to the child,but his silent,backstage contribution is irreplaceable.
While the mother keeps a track of his or her smiles and milestones,he keeps a silent vigil on his outdoor activities.A single ill-logical No, or an encouraging Yes,once in a life,may be as significant as the daily hundreds of hugs and kisses from the mom,and may help us to take the biggest decision of our lives.
The mom takes pride in every star that the child gets in class or the medals and cups won,but the real happiness that the father gets is when the daughter finds her life partner and the son steals his best shirt or shoes for a secret date,or beats him in a game or a car race
The kid recognizes the contribution of the father,when he or she gets the first pay,or hold their child in their arms.
Thoughts that cross a childs mind for the father at various ages may be like this
1-5 years-someone for rowdy tricks and pillow fights
5-10-years-Perennial Santa Clause and someone for horse riding and piggy back rides
10-15 years-The sports instructor
15-20 years-My dad knows everything,can do everything,can never do any thing wrong and is the Hero and the Best!
20-25 years-why cant he understand me.? Its so difficult to have peace with him
25-30 years- it is so difficult to find a job and earn money
30-35 years-wonder how dad ran the house and gave us all we wanted
40-45 years-it is so tough to bring up kids
45-50 years-he is getting old and needs my care and time
after 50-Its killing to see Dad age,May he never leave me !
This day has a double importance for me and I say this not as a Father,but as a Son,since I am a son of an aging dad and father of two grown up daughters
My Sunday coffee is made by my 80 year old dad at Lucknow,and by my daughters at Delhi and is something for which i wait for the whole week and I can skip all the meals of the week for that ritualistic coffee.
May God grant me the strength,time,patience,gentleness and concern,with which dad brought me up,and what I need now to help him to eat,dress-up and walk,and be able to father him as a kid,when he needs my hands to help him walk
Long live all Dads
Sanjay,Lucknow