Commitment doesnt mean surrendering personalities !
Sometimes we feel relationships are all about supporting each other in times of need. That’s what friends and family are for, we think.
But there are times when we go overboard in our expectations. We expect their lives to hinge on our feelings and opinions.
For instance, you’ve been ill for a while now. Is it fair to expect your family and friends to do little other than rally around you? Would you deem it disloyal if they also had a life of their own? If they did enjoy an outing, a get together would you think badly of them?
Your friend has done you a grave injustice. And obviously the relationship between you both has suffered. Would you expect your mutual friends to pick up cudgels on your behalf? And have nothing to do your erstwhile friend? Or worse, fight on your behalf?
It is important to remember that every person is an individual in his or her own right and is entitled to an opinion.
The best way to have a lasting relationship with anyone is to be realistic in your expectations. Be it your buddy, brother or betrothed, your sister, your spouse or your parents, every one of them is entitled to make a decision that might be different from your assessment of the situation.
But it is important that you do not pass judgement harshly on them. Accept people the way they are. They have to lead their own lives. And, remember, you might well do the same in their place.
Your enemy’s friend is not your enemy. People who feel good when you feel bad are not villains. People aren’t indifferent because they think different.
Your relationships will thrive a lot better if only you learn to live and let live.
sanjay